Some Adults with ADHD Are Praised for Coping. They’re Actually Masking.
Some adults with ADHD are praised for coping.
They seem organised.
They appear successful.
They look high functioning.
However, what often goes unseen is the effort behind that presentation.
Many adults rehearse conversations before they happen. Afterwards, they replay them repeatedly. They monitor tone, facial expression, and body language. In addition, they try to prevent mistakes before they occur.
Over time, that level of effort becomes exhausting.
This pattern is known as adult ADHD masking.
What Is Adult ADHD Masking?
Adult ADHD masking happens when someone hides their difficulties in order to meet expectations at work, in relationships, or socially.
For example, masking can look like:
Over-preparing
Staying silent to avoid mistakes
Working longer hours than necessary
Suppressing emotional overwhelm
Double-checking everything
On the outside, this behaviour may look like resilience or high functioning ADHD. However, in reality, it often reflects self-protection.
Across Ireland, increasing numbers of adults are now receiving late ADHD diagnoses. As a result, many begin to realise that what looked like coping was actually long-term masking.
Coping Is Not the Same as Thriving
Many adults with ADHD become very good at surviving.
They meet deadlines.
They show up.
They carry responsibility.
Nevertheless, constant coping often leads to anxiety, burnout, emotional exhaustion, and self-criticism.
Coping allows someone to function. However, thriving requires something different.
When clinicians recognise adult ADHD masking, mental health support becomes more effective.
ADHD Therapy That Reduces Masking and Burnout
Effective ADHD therapy for adults looks beyond productivity.
Instead, it includes:
Slower pacing
Clear structure
Reduced shame
Nervous system regulation
Realistic expectations
When therapy adapts to neurodivergent adults rather than asking them to adapt endlessly, anxiety reduces. Consequently, engagement improves and burnout becomes less likely.
I provide ADHD-informed psychotherapy online across Ireland and internationally, as well as in person in Limerick.
ADHD Courses and CPD Training for Therapists
For mental health professionals, recognising adult ADHD masking is essential.
High functioning does not mean low distress. Therefore, professionals must look beneath performance.
In my CPD-accredited ADHD training for therapists, we explore:
How adult ADHD is frequently missed in therapy
How masking presents in high-achieving clients
How to adapt therapy pacing for neurodivergent adults
How to reduce internalised shame
If you are a counsellor, psychotherapist, or organisation seeking ADHD training in Ireland, you can learn more about my ADHD CPD courses and professional training programmes on my website.
ADHD Media, Podcasts, and Interviews
In addition to therapy and training, I regularly speak on ADHD, neurodiversity, and adult mental health in media, radio, and professional settings.
If you are seeking an ADHD specialist for interviews, podcasts, conferences, or workplace training, feel free to get in touch.
Raising awareness of adult ADHD masking helps reduce stigma and improve outcomes.
Final Thought
Some adults with ADHD are praised for coping.
However, coping is not the same as wellbeing.
When we recognise the effort behind the appearance, we can offer support that genuinely fits.
