ADHD Masking and Neurodivergent Shapeshifting: When ADHD Looks Like Adaptability, Not Distraction
By Robert Rackley, MSc | MIACP | The Neurodivergent Psychotherapist
The Hidden Face of ADHD
When people think of ADHD, they often imagine restlessness, impulsivity, or distraction.
But for many neurodivergent adults, ADHD looks different.
It often looks like adaptability — or what I call neurodivergent shapeshifting.
At my therapy practice in Limerick, I often meet clients who’ve spent years masking ADHD traits by blending into their surroundings.
They mirror others. They adjust constantly. They say “whatever works for you” before even checking in with themselves.
This isn’t just people-pleasing.
It’s ADHD masking — a survival skill developed to stay accepted and safe.
What Is ADHD Masking or Neurodivergent Shapeshifting?
ADHD masking means hiding your natural behaviour or reactions to appear “normal.”
Over time, that can make it hard to know who you really are.
Adults who have masked for years often describe:
Chronic exhaustion or burnout
Anxiety or emotional overwhelm
Feeling invisible in relationships
Struggling to identify personal needs or boundaries
These experiences are common among undiagnosed adults with ADHD who have learned to shapeshift in every situation.
Why ADHD Masking Matters in Therapy
If you’re in therapy, awareness alone isn’t healing.
You can understand your patterns and still feel burnt out from performing versions of yourself.
Therapy should be a space where you don’t need to mask.
Where you can explore who you are beneath the adaptation.
A neurodiversity-affirming therapist recognises that burnout and withdrawal in ADHD aren’t laziness — they’re the emotional cost of masking.
(You may also like Why ADHD Isn’t Laziness — It’s Executive Dysfunction.)
Reclaiming Your Identity
Healing from ADHD masking is about more than rest — it’s about relief.
Relief from pretending. Relief from shrinking yourself to fit others.
You do care.
You just got used to putting yourself last.
You deserve relationships, workplaces, and therapy rooms where your full self can show up — without shapeshifting to belong.
Learn more about my ADHD Therapy in Limerick or explore my ADHD courses to start unmasking safely.
About the Author
Robert Rackley, MSc | MIACP, is a neurodivergent psychotherapist based in Limerick, Ireland. He specialises in ADHD, Autism, and neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults. His courses and therapy services support adults learning to live authentically and reduce masking.