Why “Try Harder” Doesn’t Work: The Hidden Effort of Living with ADHD By Robert Rackley Neurodivergent Psychotherapist
If “try harder” worked, people with ADHD would be Olympic champions in effort.
Living with ADHD has never been about a lack of trying. It’s about having to try again and again, often in ways other people never see. What looks like a simple task to someone else can feel like climbing a hill in the dark — and doing it every day.
Many ADHD adults live their entire lives pushing, striving, and forcing their brains to do things that aren’t designed for the way they process the world. That isn’t laziness. It’s endurance.
ADHD Brains Work Harder Than People Realise
Behind the scenes, the ADHD brain is constantly managing:
competing distractions
executive function challenges like planning, organising, and sequencing
emotional overwhelm in environments that are too loud, too fast, or too demanding
self-doubt shaped by years of being misunderstood
And still — ADHDers keep showing up.
They adapt. They rebuild. They restart tasks ten times if they need to.
Persistence is not the problem. Invisible effort is the reality.
The Myth of “Just Try Harder”
One of the most painful misconceptions about ADHD is the belief that it’s a discipline issue.
That if someone really cared, they would focus.
That if they wanted it enough, they would push through.
But ADHD isn’t a lack of willpower — it’s a difference in how the brain regulates motivation, attention, and impulse control.
The difficulty isn’t effort.
The difficulty is initiating effort.
Or organising it.
Or sustaining it when dopamine drops and the brain stalls.
That’s why so many ADHD adults end the day utterly drained, even if they feel like they “didn’t do much.” Their brains have been running a marathon while standing still.
Why Every Win Matters
Every “small” win — getting out the door, answering an email, finishing a task, remembering something important — is not small at all.
It is the result of mental energy, problem-solving, and emotional resilience that deserves recognition, not judgement.
ADHDers aren’t failing to try.
They’re trying harder than most people will ever understand.
They are the ones who build routines from scratch, reset after every setback, and find new ways to move forward when the old ones stop working.
That is not laziness.
That is strength.
If You’ve Ever Told Yourself to “Try Harder”
Pause.
Take a breath.
You don’t need more pressure.
You need support, structure, compassion, and approaches that align with your brain — not someone else’s expectations.
You’re not falling short.
You’re carrying more than most people can see.
And you’re already trying hard enough.
If this resonates…
Many adults who relate to the hidden effort of ADHD find clarity and support through structured guidance.
If you’d like a calm, therapist-led way to understand your ADHD traits, explore my online courses:
👉 Could I Have ADHD? – A simple, 1-hour clarity course
See all ADHD courses at: www.robertrackley.ie/courses