Why Transitions Can Be So Difficult for ADHD and Autistic People

By Robert Rackley MSc MIACP
Neurodivergent Psychotherapist | ADHD & Autism Specialist

The next task isn’t always the problem.

Sometimes the difficult part is leaving the current one.

An ADHD or autistic person may be completely capable of completing the next activity.

They may understand what is expected.

They may agree that it needs to happen.

They may even want to do it.

Yet they remain where they are.

A child continues playing when it is time to leave.

An adult stays at their computer long after intending to stop.

Someone becomes distressed when asked to pause a game.

A person delays going to bed even though they are exhausted.

A simple request to move from one activity to another creates frustration, anger, anxiety or shutdown.

From the outside, this may look like refusal.

Stubbornness.

Defiance.

Ignoring instructions.

Being deliberately difficult.

But transitions involve more than stopping one task and beginning another.

The brain must disengage from its current focus, tolerate interruption, hold unfinished information in mind, prepare for a different demand and generate enough activation to begin again.

For many ADHD and autistic people, that transition carries a significant cognitive and emotional cost.

The next task may not be particularly difficult.

Leaving the current state may be where the real difficulty lies.

What is a transition?

A transition is any movement from one activity, environment, mental state or expectation to another.

Some transitions are obvious:

• Leaving the house
• Going to school or work
• Ending a game
• Moving between classrooms
• Finishing a workday
• Going from work to home
• Leaving a social event
• Stopping an enjoyable activity
• Beginning a household task
• Going to bed

Others are much smaller and often go unnoticed:

• Moving from reading an email to answering it
• Changing between browser tabs
• Pausing one task to respond to a question
• Moving from planning to doing
• Getting out of the car after arriving home
• Shifting from rest into activity
• Changing from listening to speaking
• Moving from one stage of a task to the next
• Returning to work after an interruption

Even transitions between thoughts can be difficult.

A person may remain mentally occupied by an earlier conversation while attempting to concentrate on something else.

They may physically move into the next activity while part of their attention remains attached to the previous one.

The transition has technically happened.

Their brain has not fully arrived.

Task-switching is an executive functioning demand

Task-switching is part of executive functioning.

It requires the brain to stop following one set of instructions and activate another. Information connected to the previous activity must be set aside while new information becomes relevant.

This may involve:

• Disengaging attention
• Inhibiting the urge to continue
• Remembering what comes next
• Reorganising priorities
• Tolerating an unfinished task
• Adjusting to different sensory information
• Generating motivation for the new activity
• Re-establishing focus
• Managing the emotional response to interruption

The ability to perform each task individually does not mean switching between them will be easy.

A person may be able to play a game and complete their homework.

The difficulty may arise in the movement between gaming and homework.

An employee may be capable of completing reports and attending meetings.

Repeatedly switching between them may significantly reduce their concentration and energy.

A person may be able to relax and prepare dinner.

The transition from the sofa to the kitchen may feel disproportionately difficult.

This is similar to the experience of decision fatigue in ADHD and autism. The individual demands may appear small, but each change requires the brain to stop, reorganise information and select a new direction.

Research examining task-switching has identified a cognitive “switch cost.” Although everyone can experience this cost, it can be more pronounced for some people with ADHD or autism.

This is not evidence that the person lacks intelligence or does not understand what is required.

It reflects the mental work involved in changing direction.

Autistic inertia

Some autistic people use the term autistic inertia to describe difficulties starting, stopping or changing activities.

In physics, inertia describes the tendency of something to remain in its current state unless another force acts upon it.

Autistic inertia can feel similar.

When the person is inactive, beginning can feel extremely difficult.

Once they are engaged, stopping can feel equally difficult.

Research based on autistic adults’ first-hand experiences has described inertia as difficulty moving from one state to another, regardless of the person’s intentions or willpower.

Participants in one study described these challenges as affecting everyday life while also identifying the positive side of becoming deeply absorbed in an activity. The same attentional pattern that supports flow, concentration and immersion can make disengagement especially difficult.

This creates an important distinction.

The person may not be refusing to change activities.

They may be experiencing genuine difficulty converting intention into movement.

They can think:

“I need to stop.”

“I want to get up.”

“I know I’m going to be late.”

“I should move now.”

Yet remain unable to act.

The instruction is present.

Access to action is not.

The first-hand study, “I Live in Extremes”: Autistic Adults’ Experiences of Inertial Rest and Motion, highlights how difficulties starting and stopping can occur throughout everyday life and cannot be adequately explained by a lack of motivation.

ADHD and difficulty changing focus

ADHD is often described as an inability to concentrate.

A more accurate understanding involves difficulty regulating attention.

Attention may move too quickly in some situations and become deeply fixed in others.

An ADHD person might:

• Move between tasks without completing them
• Become distracted by every interruption
• Struggle to return after being interrupted
• Hyperfocus on an engaging activity
• Lose track of time
• Continue beyond the intended stopping point
• Know what needs to happen next but remain unable to shift
• Need urgency before they can disengage and act

This may appear inconsistent.

“How can you say you cannot focus when you have been doing that for four hours?”

But hyperfocus is not evidence of consistently controlled attention.

It can be another example of difficulty directing and shifting attention voluntarily.

The person may focus intensely when an activity provides interest, novelty, urgency, challenge or immediate reward. A less stimulating task may not create enough activation for the brain to move towards it.

Stopping the engaging activity therefore involves two demands:

1. Disengaging from something that strongly holds attention.
2. Generating enough activation to begin something that holds much less.

Time blindness can add another difficulty. The person may intend to stop after ten minutes without recognising that an hour has passed. The ending then becomes sudden, even when other people believe they were given plenty of time.

These patterns are part of the broader, frequently missed experience of ADHD in adulthood. ADHD is not simply difficulty paying attention. It can affect initiation, inhibition, time awareness, working memory and the ability to move attention deliberately.

Monotropism and deep attention

Monotropism is an autistic-developed theory suggesting that autistic attention may concentrate deeply on a smaller number of interests, thoughts or sensory channels at one time.

This depth of attention can support:

• Expertise
• Creativity
• Detailed thinking
• Problem-solving
• Flow
• Meaningful engagement
• Strong connections with particular interests

It can also make interruption and redirection more demanding.

When attention is deeply invested in one activity, moving away from it may require more effort than another person can see.

The person is not simply looking at a screen, reading a book or arranging objects.

Their attention may be fully organised around that activity.

A sudden interruption can feel like being pulled out of one mental world and expected to function immediately in another.

Research examining monotropism as a neurodiversity-affirming explanation of autistic attention considers how an attentional style traditionally framed only as inflexibility may also support genuine strengths.

Understanding this prevents us from treating deep focus as a problem while still recognising the support someone may need when moving out of it.

Why unfinished tasks can be difficult to leave

Some people find it much harder to stop when a task feels incomplete.

They may need:

• A clear ending
• A natural stopping point
• The current level to finish
• One final piece of information
• The sentence to be completed
• An object to be placed correctly
• A plan for how to resume
• Reassurance that they will not lose their progress

Stopping midway can create mental tension.

The person may worry that they will forget where they were, lose the idea or be unable to recreate the same level of focus later.

This concern may be realistic.

Working-memory difficulties can make it hard to retain unfinished information. Once interrupted, the person may need considerable time to reconstruct their thought process.

They are not only being asked to stop.

They may be being asked to lose the mental state that allowed them to work effectively.

This can explain why somebody says:

“Just let me finish this.”

They may not be trying to delay indefinitely.

They may be searching for a stopping point that allows the task to feel safely contained.

Interruptions can feel physically jarring

Some ADHD and autistic people describe interruption as more than an inconvenience.

It can feel physically uncomfortable.

The person may experience:

• Irritation
• Panic
• Disorientation
• Anger
• A sense of being pulled apart
• Loss of words
• Difficulty processing the request
• A sudden drop in emotional regulation
• An urgent need to return to the previous activity

If they were using the activity to regulate themselves, the interruption may also remove an important source of stability.

Gaming, drawing, reading, watching a familiar programme, organising objects, researching an interest or listening to music may help the nervous system feel predictable and contained.

Ending the activity therefore involves more than losing enjoyment.

The person may temporarily lose the regulation it was providing.

A strong reaction does not necessarily mean the request was unreasonable.

It may mean the transition was more demanding than it appeared.

This is why visible behaviour should not be viewed separately from sensory load, emotional regulation and the person’s current capacity. As I discuss in ADHD and sensory overwhelm, what appears to be an excessive reaction may be the point at which accumulated demands finally exceed the nervous system’s capacity.

Transitions involve sensory changes

Moving between activities often means moving between sensory environments.

Leaving a quiet room could mean entering:

• Traffic
• Bright lights
• Conversation
• Unpredictable noise
• Strong smells
• Crowds
• Physical contact
• Temperature changes

Moving from home to school or work can involve changes in clothing, lighting, movement, sound, expectations and social demands.

Going from work to home may involve a different form of sensory and emotional load. A person can arrive home already dysregulated and be expected to shift immediately into conversation, parenting, household decisions or social engagement.

The difficulty may not be the next activity itself.

The nervous system may be anticipating everything that accompanies it.

Someone who appears unwilling to leave the house may be mentally processing travel, uncertainty, noise, interaction and the possibility of becoming overwhelmed.

This is one example of why the environment can determine whether neurodivergent strengths or difficulties become most visible.

Treating the problem as simple non-compliance overlooks the sensory transition taking place.

Emotional states also require transitions

Not every transition is behavioural.

People also need time to move between emotional states.

An adult may leave a stressful meeting and be expected to enter another task immediately.

A child may experience something upsetting at school and then be asked to begin homework.

Someone may finish a demanding day and be expected to become socially available the moment they walk through the door.

The body may still be carrying the previous experience.

This is why nervous-system resets between environments can be helpful.

A short period of:

• Silence
• Movement
• Music
• Reduced lighting
• Familiar sensory input
• Sitting in the car
• Changing clothes
• Walking
• Eating or drinking
• Engaging with a special interest

can provide a bridge between one part of the day and another.

This is not wasted time.

It may be what allows the next transition to happen without overwhelm.

Many neurodivergent people have spent years forcing themselves through these moments and assuming they should be able to change state instantly. But healing does not require continually fighting how your nervous system works.

Sometimes the most helpful strategy is allowing a realistic transition period.

Why repeated instructions may make the transition harder

When someone does not move immediately, other people often repeat the demand.

“Turn it off.”

“I said turn it off.”

“Come on.”

“We need to go.”

“Why are you ignoring me?”

“Hurry up.”

The intention is understandable. Time may be limited and the transition genuinely needs to happen.

But repeated language can add pressure, sensory input and emotional intensity.

The person is now attempting to:

• Disengage from the activity
• Process repeated verbal information
• Manage another person’s frustration
• Regulate their own emotional response
• Work out what needs to happen next
• Act quickly while already overwhelmed

Their capacity to transition may reduce as the pressure increases.

This can create a cycle:

1. The person struggles to shift.
2. The instruction becomes more urgent.
3. Pressure increases.
4. The nervous system becomes overwhelmed.
5. The person finds it even harder to move.
6. Their lack of movement is interpreted as greater defiance.

What looks like escalating opposition may actually be escalating overload.

Children and transitions

Children experience numerous transitions throughout the day.

They may move between:

• Sleep and waking
• Home and school
• Classroom activities
• Preferred and non-preferred work
• Break time and lessons
• Different teachers
• School and home
• Screen time and bedtime

A child who repeatedly struggles at these points may be described as oppositional or controlling.

But the timing of the behaviour provides useful information.

If distress regularly occurs when an activity ends, a plan changes or attention must move, the child may need transition support.

Helpful supports can include:

• Visual schedules
• Countdown timers
• First–then language
• Advance warning
• A consistent transition routine
• Clear information about what happens next
• Allowing a natural stopping point
• Reducing unnecessary verbal instructions
• Offering limited, meaningful choices
• A regulating activity before the next demand
• Bringing a familiar object between environments

A warning needs to be meaningful.

Saying “five more minutes” may not help a child who does not yet have a reliable sense of five minutes.

A visual timer, song, clock or clearly defined ending may make the information more concrete.

It is also important to keep promises. If the child is told they can finish one level, unexpectedly stopping them halfway through may make future warnings feel unreliable.

Adults can need transition support too

Transition supports are often discussed as though they are only for children.

Adults are expected to manage transitions internally and invisibly.

Yet many ADHD and autistic adults benefit from:

• Calendar reminders
• Alarms
• Written plans
• Preparation time
• Transition rituals
• Body doubling
• External prompts
• Clearly defined stopping points
• Space between appointments
• Advance notice of changes
• Time to decompress between work and home

Adults may feel embarrassed about needing these supports.

They may tell themselves:

“I should be able to just get on with it.”

But external structure is not a failure of independence.

It is a practical response to how executive functioning and attention operate.

A person who uses an alarm to stop working is not less committed.

A person who needs 20 quiet minutes after work is not rejecting their family.

A person who builds space between meetings is not unproductive.

They are creating conditions that allow transitions to happen more sustainably.

This is particularly important for people who have become so skilled at coping that they no longer recognise how much effort everyday functioning requires.

Transitions and gaming

Gaming often becomes the setting in which transition difficulties are most visible.

This does not automatically mean that gaming is the cause.

Games can provide:

• Clear objectives
• Immediate feedback
• Predictable rules
• Visible progress
• Strong stimulation
• Social connection
• Escape from overwhelming demands
• A sense of competence
• Emotional regulation

The contrast between gaming and the next activity may be significant.

Moving from a stimulating, predictable environment into homework, personal care or an unclear household task can be extremely difficult.

Turning off the game suddenly may also mean abandoning progress or disappointing other players.

This does not mean there should be no boundaries around gaming.

It means those boundaries are more likely to work when the transition is understood.

Helpful approaches might include:

• Agreeing on the stopping time beforehand
• Checking how long a level or match usually lasts
• Giving several warnings
• Avoiding a new game shortly before stopping time
• Identifying the next concrete activity
• Building in a short regulation break
• Using consistent rather than unpredictable limits

The aim is not to remove every difficult transition.

It is to reduce unnecessary conflict around a predictable area of difficulty.

Demand avoidance can intensify the transition

A transition can become harder when it changes from an intention into a demand.

The person may already have been preparing to move.

Then someone says:

“You need to do it now.”

The request can create an immediate feeling of lost control.

An internal intention becomes an externally imposed demand.

For people who experience significant demand avoidance, this may activate anxiety or a threat response.

They may resist even when they genuinely wanted to complete the action.

This can be confusing for everyone involved.

The person may think:

“I was about to do it until you told me.”

This is sometimes dismissed as an excuse.

But the experience of control can significantly affect access to action.

Reducing unnecessary pressure, offering choices and collaborating on the transition may help preserve autonomy.

The expectation can remain.

The route towards it can become more accessible.

Transitions become harder when capacity is low

A person may manage transitions comfortably on one day and struggle significantly on another.

This does not mean the difficulty is selective or deliberate.

Transition capacity can be affected by:

• Lack of sleep
• Hunger
• Illness
• Pain
• Stress
• Sensory overload
• Emotional strain
• Hormonal changes
• Social demands
• Decision fatigue
• Burnout
• The number of previous transitions

Each change uses capacity.

By the end of the day, the person may have much less flexibility available.

This is why an apparently small evening transition can create a significant reaction.

The request may be small.

It may also be the twentieth transition their brain has managed that day.

Looking only at the final demand means we miss everything that came before it.

When someone is already experiencing ADHD or autistic burnout, their capacity to begin, stop and change tasks may reduce significantly. Skills that were previously accessible can temporarily require much more support.

What can make transitions easier?

There is no single strategy that will work for every person.

The most useful support depends on whether the difficulty involves attention, sensory processing, anxiety, working memory, demand avoidance, uncertainty or a combination of factors.

Helpful approaches can include:

Give advance notice

Unexpected endings are often harder than anticipated ones.

Provide enough warning for the person to begin disengaging mentally.

Make time visible

Use a clock, timer, calendar or visual countdown rather than relying only on verbal reminders.

Identify a stopping point

Instead of saying “stop now,” agree on what completion looks like:

• Finish this paragraph
• Save the document
• Complete the current match
• Put the final piece in place

Explain what happens next

“Stop what you’re doing” provides an ending without a destination.

Clear information about the next step reduces uncertainty.

Reduce the number of instructions

Give one clear instruction at a time. Repeated demands can increase overload.

Allow transition time

Do not schedule every activity back-to-back where possible. A short buffer can prevent the next task from beginning in dysregulation.

Preserve the unfinished task

Write down the next step, leave materials organised or save the exact location. This reassures the person that their progress will not be lost.

Use a bridge activity

Music, movement, a drink, a sensory object or a brief predictable routine can connect one state with another.

Collaborate

Ask:

“What would make stopping easier?”

“How much warning do you need?”

“Is there a natural place to pause?”

“Would you prefer to do this before or after your break?”

Support is most effective when the person helps design it.

It is not about removing every expectation

Understanding transition difficulties does not mean that nothing can ever end.

Children still need boundaries.

Adults still have responsibilities.

Work, school and family life all involve change.

The aim is not to remove every demand or guarantee that transitions will always feel comfortable.

It is to stop interpreting every difficulty as a character problem.

When we understand what the nervous system and executive functions are being asked to do, we can maintain necessary expectations while making the transition more accessible.

A supported transition may still involve discomfort.

But it is less likely to escalate into shame, conflict or complete overwhelm.

The next task may not be the problem

A person can want to go and still struggle to leave.

They can understand the instruction and still be unable to act immediately.

They can enjoy the next activity and find the transition towards it difficult.

They can be highly capable and still need warnings, structure or support.

The transition is not an empty space between two important activities.

It is an activity in itself.

It requires disengagement, adjustment, regulation and reorientation.

When we recognise this, the question changes from:

“Why won’t you do the next thing?”

to:

“What would help you leave the current one?”

The next task isn’t always the problem.

Sometimes the difficult part is leaving the current one.

Therapy, Training and Speaking

I provide neurodivergence-affirming therapy for ADHD and autistic adults experiencing executive functioning difficulties, hyperfocus, task paralysis, autistic inertia, sensory overwhelm, emotional regulation difficulties and burnout.

My approach combines clinical experience, specialist training and my own lived experience as a neurodivergent psychotherapist. Therapy can help people understand what makes transitions difficult, reduce shame and develop strategies that work with their individual nervous system and attentional style.

Sessions are available in person in Limerick and online internationally.

I also provide neurodiversity training, workplace talks and professional CPD for therapists, healthcare professionals, educational settings, workplaces and organisations.

Training can include executive functioning, ADHD and autistic attention, transitions, sensory processing, demand avoidance, emotional regulation and practical ways to support neurodivergent people without treating genuine difficulty as resistance.

Organisations seeking a tailored programme can learn more about my group and organisational neurodiversity training.

Robert Rackley MSc MIACP
Neurodivergent Psychotherapist | ADHD & Autism Specialist | Trainer & Speaker

Linked Article and Research Titles

• Decision Fatigue in ADHD and Autism
• Wrong Environment, Right Person: Why Neurodivergent Strengths Are Often Missed
• Many ADHD and Autistic Adults Have Become So Good at Coping That They Don’t Realise They’re Struggling
• Neurodivergence and Therapy Explained
• Neurodiversity Training and Speaking
• “I Live in Extremes”: Autistic Adults’ Experiences of Inertial Rest and Motion
• First-Hand Accounts of Autistic Inertia
• Task Switching and ADHD
• Verbal Fluency and Autism Through the Lens of Monotropism